For some reason, 10 months ago when I implemented SO_REUSEPORT
for TCP, I didn't realize, or forgot, that it can be used for UDP too. It is a
much better solution than using deadline hacks to reuse a socket, at
least for TCP.

Then mholt/caddy-l4#132 was posted,
in which we see that UDP servers never actually stopped when the
L4 app was stopped. I verified this using this command:

    $ nc -u 127.0.0.1 55353

combined with POSTing configs to the /load admin endpoint (which
alternated between an echo server and a proxy server so I could tell
which config was being used).

I refactored the code to use SO_REUSEPORT for UDP, but of course
we still need graceful reloads on all platforms, not just Unix, so I
also implemented a deadline hack similar to what we used for
TCP before. That implementation for TCP was not perfect, possibly
having a logical (not data) race condition; but for UDP so far it
seems to be working. Verified the same way I verified that SO_REUSEPORT
works.

I think this code is slightly cleaner and I'm fairly confident this code
is effective.